(no subject)

[alexr_rwx]

I'll try to make more posts more often.

I've had some up and down times since I last posted.

EVO 2019, like I wrote, was a really beautiful experience for me. Saw my dad and my uncle and my cousin. Got out of pools for the first time at a big tournament, went 5-2, played great.

I ran a race, since then. The San Jose Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. Nothing out of the ordinary, but that was the first time I ran a race since December 2016.

Been having bouts of depression and anxiety. Having trouble being hopeful about the future. Things often feel hopeless and joyless, like we're just gradually sliding into disaster on all fronts. Work seems pointless and people who don't see it as pointless seem extremely inhuman.

Definitely not sleeping enough, for toddler reasons. That probably doesn't help. Toddler is *super cute*, though.

I'll post more. I'm really lonely. Twitter kinda helps; even somebody just hitting "like" on an idle thought feels warm.

Comments

like

[brainwane]

This is a "like"-type comment:

<3

Re: like

[alexr_rwx]

Thank you <3

[sajith]

I am pretty much out of Twitter because it makes me feel worse, about myself and the world.

Mastodon is where all the laid-back cool kids are at. ;-)

[alexr_rwx]

Noted! I think it makes me feel worse overall toooooo. It is probably a good strategy to extricate oneself. The primary thing with Twitter is fear of missing out, I think...

[sajith]

Cool kids also enjoy JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). ;-)

[graydon2]

yeah I took the past N months off twitter and am definitely happier. I look up individual tweet streams every few days to make sure the people I care about the status of are still puttering along but the absence of the wall-of-angst of the place overall is, I think, better than the comforting and familiar presence of it.

[gregh1983]

Hi! It's always great to hear from you.

[ikeepaleopard]

Hugs! I am vaguely working on an LJ replacement and I just realized that it needs a "hugs" button.

[graydon2]

I think you're rad and am glad to see you writing. Glad the toddler is toddling! Sorry about the anxiety and despair. I will avoid giving you stupid advice or tips or whatever but do know that those of us who have similar dispair feelings sometimes know the feeling and care about you and empathize. <3